I think I may have a problem...

>> Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Pin It Now!


First off, HEY, Guess what!  I'm not dead!!  Isn't that AWESOME??

Next on the agenda...you know how my handle is mommyRAMBLINGS, yeah well here you go.  I see that as permission to not only post well though out, meaningful posts, but reserve the right to also to use my blog as a platform...this is nothing new...if you haven't been around since the beginning of MommyRamblings.com, you may not be aware that my first ever, world changing post was titled *drumroll*


Yeah...I haven't changed much since then...well, ok, I have changed a LOT, but that it a story for another time...my point it that my rambling, sometimes crazy, ADHD brain hasn't changed...

I mean seriously y'all...I was making a few Memory Verse graphic for my AWESOME church earlier tonight, which led to some crazy texting with a friend, followed by me making coffee at 8:55pm, being inspired, and making this:
Yep...welcome to my world...but you know, as crazy, and mixed up as my world can be, it's not a bad thing...we all need to be a bit silly at some times...

You know, this started out as a completely random, short post, but I am going to get a bit deeper for a sec...I know I am not the best blogger, and certainly not the most consistent...I blog regularly for a bit, then fall down an internetless well for a while...I have tons of good ideas, and ALWAYS have the BEST of intentions when starting a project, or joining a team...I have been able to meet some AMAZING friends over the years through the blogging community, and can't stand the though that I frequently let them, as well as my readers down on various things...I pray that everyone knows in their hearts that I ALWAYS have the best of intentions...I have struggled with ADD for most of my life, and my brain just get's overloaded...not to mention that if I told y'all everything that has happened in my life over the course of the last year, you would either get depressed at the thought, or think I was a liar...I'm not, and it has been a HARD year...
We have been tested in our lives, our faith, and our relationship...

BUT

We also found our AMAZING church within this last year, and THAT is what has me in tears while I am writing this....not all of the bad things that have / are happening...the GOOD,

they are tears of JOY....
because God is GOOD,
and I WILL praise him in this and EVERY storm! 

I think that in addition to flat out priorities, lack of time management, etc, my blogging hiatus' are often a product of insecurity and stress...

I was always the unpopular one growing up...Those feelings linger even through adulthood...The feelings of paranoia and not belonging...It is hard for me to be happy in who I am even still today, and sometimes find myself falling into the trap of trying to be a LITTLE more like this person, or maybe I should be more like this person...losing ME in the process...

I get to the point of what is right, and what is wrong in the blogging world, that it is no longer fun...it is no longer a stress releaver, but a stress producer...I have written posts in the past for a great homeschooling site, while I loved the articles I wrote...and they had the same professional feel to them as the other contributors produced, that I burned myself out...while I can/will sometimes write posts like that, I need to remember that I can come here and write posts like this too...

The posts that may not be thought out, may take a TOTAL 180 degree turn from the original point of the post...the posts where I can just be ME...because that's who I am...Yes, I am that girl in the picture in the right hand side of my blog, I am the "I am a Christian, Homeschooling, Blogging, Business Owning, Photography loving Wife and mommy." touted on my twitter homepage...but I am also the ADHD, still sometimes insecure, total geek...the one who watches Doctor Who & Sherlock, the one who loves playing video games, and who has read insane amounts of both fan fiction & manga...

The point, I suppose is, if you haven't figured it out, that this is full disclosure...my thought process in figuring things out...because, having a popular blog is GREAT...

but having a blog where I can not only post helpful things, but where I feel comfortable...where I feel I can come post just about anything on my mind, and have that be accepted... 

THAT'S the blog I want and need to have!

*sigh*  well that went a TOTALLY different direction than I had planned...for those who have stuck with me through the good times, as well as the (sometimes very long) blogging hiatus' THANK YOU SO MUCH!  Seriously to all of my followers...even if after this post, it's only 2, ;)  Y'all mean the world to me!!  

I love you ALL!  

~Jules

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